Relationships

What's wrong with dating too early?

A: Because the purpose behind dating is for the ultimate choosing of a life-long spouse, dating should be entered into cautiously and very thoughtfully. By beginning this process too soon, a person risks losing their own goals, dreams, and desires when becoming involved in a dating relationship with someone who is not “like-minded”.

Unfortunately, a younger person is often strongly influenced by their emotions which can be heightened  by surging hormones.
Dating should come at a time in your life when you are seriously contemplating marriage. Until then, social occasions should be group activities enjoyed by a mix of friends.

If I can’t get along with my parents, should I move in with my boyfriend?

A: Moving in with a boyfriend is NEVER a good idea! While it might look romantic from the outside to play “house” with a boyfriend, real life is seldom like that. Parents can have strict rules which might make you feel like you must escape, but there is usually love behind the rules. All too soon you will come to realize that the struggles of maintaining a household without the love and support of your parents and other family members will become overwhelming and take all the “romance” out of your life.
The MOST important reason not to live with your boyfriend is that you immediately put yourself at odds with God. He has commanded some things and has also made some promises. God will never bless a relationship or a home that is in violation of His commandments. Life is so much sweeter when you live on the same “side” as God. There you will enjoy all the blessings and romance that He has to offer.

Is it wrong to get intimate with my boyfriend before I get married?

A: Being intimate with the love of your life is the sweetest, most fun, and exciting experience you can enjoy! But… BEWARE!!! Being intimate with the love of your life BEFORE you say “I do” will bring an ugliness to the relationship as it undermines your self esteem and causes you to question his love if you don’t have sex. Sex without the ring on your finger is selling yourself cheaply. You have a beautiful and priceless gift to give. Make sure you give it to the right person at the right time. God’s time is perfect….ALWAYS! Remember: your gift is in your power to give to whom you choose and when you choose. Make sure your choice matches God’s. This choice you will never regret!

Will I ever recover from a broken relationship?

A: Broken relationships are NO fun!!! but you can recover with the love and support of friends and family. The key to your healing will come as you grieve the loss of your relationship before God and allow Him to comfort you through meaningful Bible passages. (His Word is supernatural)  After you have grieved the loss, begin seeking God’s help with forgiveness for the pain that this break up has caused you. Once you are able to extend forgiveness to those who have hurt you, you will be able to pray for them. Now you will be well on your way to a happier you with a closer relationship with God and some real maturity under your belt!

How can I approach a friend that is stuck in an unhealthy relationship?

A: A true friend that is “worth her salt” will always speak the truth, even when it is difficult. Sometimes we get off track in a relationship because our head is “in the clouds”,  and we can’t see the cliff we’re about to walk off of! That’s where true friends come in! If your friend is in love and is heading for a cliff, you must be the one to warn her. She might not want to hear what you have to say; she might get angry with you and even tell you that you’re just jealous of what she has; she might say things that hurt your feelings, BUT tell her the truth anyway. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

My best friend doubts the existence of God and is trying to influence me? What should I do?

A: When you are being persuaded by anyone to believe what you know is a lie, regardless of who that person is, you have to take a stand. Once you have taken a firm stand, not being wishy-washy, but knowing what you know is the right thing, the friend who is trying to throw you off your game will soon wear out. Your job is to know the truth and to take that stand. Do not let your guard down. Soon your determination will win the day, and the person will give up. James 4:7 says, ” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

Should I abandon my old friends now that I became a believer?

A: Now that you are a believer, your old friends may be your mission field. Don’t assume too soon that you should abandon them. Immediately they will see the many changes in your character and be curious as to what has happened to you. As you grow in your walk with Christ, the differences between you and your old friends might grow bigger and bigger. Begin to pray for their salvation. Begin to pray that God will open up opportunities for you to share what you have come to know about Christ’s saving grace. You will be amazed how God will use you. 1 Peter 3:15 says, “…always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.”

On another note, if your friends want you to continue in former activities that do not honor God, you might have to put a little distance between you and them; but keep the door open between you if possible. It is usually more difficult to pull a person up to where you are than to be pulled down to their level. Be cautious, and listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

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